Product Reviews by smhoffman

Fragrances - CLINIQUE - Happy

1.0
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Nov/26/2016

This smells like your great-grandmas kitchen: all-purpose cleaner wafting above a vase of grocery store carnations. It's intrusive and sharp. It's like a squeeze of those plastic lemons on top of a scented candle. It's a wonderful dryer sheet. Generic. If this is "Happy", I'd rather smell angry.

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Treatments (Face) - Deciem - Hylamide SubQ Anti-Age

5.0
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Nov/15/2016

I discovered this at a CVS during a prolonged stay in the desert. My skin was beginning to look haggard from the environment and I needed something to augment my moisturizer. I didn't expect much from a drugstore product but... Oh. My. God. This is seriously my holy grail serum. It's watery, unperfumed, and comes in a dropper bottle. It sinks right into the skin and wears well under …Read more

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Fragrances - Juliette has a Gun - Lady Vengeance

4.0
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Oct/05/2016

This was my monthly sample from Scentbird. I sprayed it on my wrists and shirt before work and had to scrub from my wrists so as not to knock my co-workers over. It's definitely a night-weekend kind of perfume! Having said that, it is a well balanced, dark rose scent with a bit of spiciness that smells virtually identical to BabyPhat Goddess. Seriously. I could barely tell the difference …Read more

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Fragrances - Coty - Surprise by Heidi Klum

4.0
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Sep/03/2016

I don't usually wear celebrity scents. They all seem to have the same fruity/sweet quality geared toward teenagers. This perfume, however, manages to be youthful and fun without smelling like a jolly rancher. I don't get much citrus from this on me, but the sharp pepper notes are well-balanced by the deep benzoin backdrop. This is great for a night out and doesn't smell cheap like …Read more

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Hair Color - Clairol - Flare Hair Color

2.0
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May/29/2016

I started with very light brown hair and purchased 6N Chardonnay (20 developer) which is described as Dark Neutral Blonde. I bought this for its promise of gloss and intensity of color, but wow. I rinsed my hair out and dried it and it is *very* dark, like dark brown. I'm pretty chill when it comes to my hair, so I'm not freaking out per se, but this is not what I expected. Buyer beware.

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Moisturizers - Pond's - Dry Skin Cream

4.0
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Jul/17/2015

Sometimes all you need is moisture. I cannot even begin to calculate the amount of money I've blown on skin care. All those miracle snake-oil claims... I can't even begin! I swear to god I pay Sephora's light bill at this point. Here's the thing: Wear sunscreen, exfoliate (either with acids or abrasion), *moisturize*, and wear hats and sunglasses. This cream is a no nonsense …Read more

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Fragrances - Gucci - Flora Gorgeous Gardenia Eau de Toilette

4.0
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Jun/16/2015

It's like VLJ grew up, went to college, and got an office job. In fact, this is my "office perfume" because it's so inoffensive and light. It doesn't knock my socks off, but it's nice enough- it has a decent balance between fruit and floral. Gorgeous Gardenia is my fragrance placeholder until nights and weekends when I wear my big, beloved, obnoxious scents.

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Fragrances - Narciso Rodriguez - Narciso Rodriguez for her EDP

4.0
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May/31/2015

I love love love this scent with one caveat: I only love it on top of Vaseline Intensive Care body lotion. I know it sounds strange, but without the undertone of the lotion, the patchouli is too strong for my taste. Layered above the lotion, however, gives it a pink, buttery quality that I can't resist. I will continue to repurchase- but will never wear alone without the lotion.

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Moisturizers - Avon - Anew Rejuvenate Day Revitalizing Cream SPF 25

2.0
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Mar/05/2015

I've been using this for about 2 weeks now, and I have mixed feelings. It has a decent level of spf, but a cloying scent. For such a thick cream, it's very drying on my skin. If I don't use my Boscia BB Cream over it, my face gets dull and tight after a half hour or so. Perhaps it's best for oily skin. Boo on the packaging as well: Jars are gross. Not for me.

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