Etat Libre D'Orange • Secretions Magnifiques • Fragrances

rated 2.4(33 reviews)

Average Rating.2.4
Would buy this product again.24%

rated 1 of 5 magnolia_xx on 5/2/2014 11:26:00 AM more reviews by magnolia_xx

Age: 36-43   Skin: Combination   Hair: Blond   Eyes: Blue    

The most revolting "perfume" ever. I wish I could give 0 lippies.
It smells of semen, menstrual blood and of something horrible.
I tried it once and it made me gag. It is not just a "bad" smell. It is a horrible, horrible smell.
It has something evil in it.
Also, I could not get rid of that disgusting smell: it seemed to have sunk into my skin and it took a lot of soap, hard scrubbing of my skin (with a nails brush) and spraying with deodorant to make it eventually subside (I did not say "disappear").
I laughed very hard seeing it listed on ebay for more that 100,00 USD (for a 50 ml EDP bottle)... that would be a suitable refund for me, for affecting my stomach and my mood for a whole afternoon. I cannot really imagine anybody having the guts to pay money for it and to spray it on.
I honestly think that the sense of smell of people who wrote good reviews about it must be different from mine. Maybe they are anosmic about some of its notes. Or maybe I am anosmic to some nice notes in it. I will never know.
I just know that I never smelled anything so horrible (I am a doctor and it happened to me to see autopsies being performed... hey folks, the smell was bad but not AS BAD as this). And as a perfumista, I hope to be able to forget about it, some day.

3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.     Was this review helpful to you? Yes   No

rated 3 of 5 amv10 on 1/19/2014 5:01:00 PM more reviews by amv10

Age: 36-43   Skin: Combination, Fair   Hair: Blond   Eyes: Green    

If it was to rate the innovation in the fragrance, I would have given it a 5. Totally stands out from anything else on the market, niche or not niche. But i can't say I like it or that I will wear it. On the other hand, I don't find either all the "animalic" notes that a lot of people seem to like, or dislike in this fragrance. When first reading the descriptions I would have expected something much more heavy, dark, musky, dirty. Blood is the only "secretion" note I smell, rather a sharp iron-like blood note mixed with a marine floral.

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.     Was this review helpful to you? Yes   No

rated 5 of 5 *TOP REVIEWER* rasputin2 on 4/21/2013 8:06:00 AM more reviews by rasputin2

Age: 44-55   Skin: Combination, Medium, Cool   Hair: Silver, Straight, Coarse   Eyes: Green    

Nose: Antoine Lie. aldehydic/marine/animalic. Full disclosure: I love this fragrance, and am going on a second bottle. I happen to think it's an amazing, innovative smell... totally new. I really don't get the smell of semen (we'll leave *that* to the revolting "almondy" spooge note in men's COOL WATER... Now THAT'S a repulsive no-lippie scent). I get the scorch of clean starch on white linen... and a milk/metal smell, charmingly homely, that reminds me of nothing so much as a toddler's long-abandoned bowl of half-eaten LUCKY CHARMS, metal spoon having leached in the tepid milk all day. Or maybe of the farm smell of fresh cow's milk being squirted, warm, into a zinc pail. I think SM makes a great spring and summer daytime scent, surely unisex, as it dries down to a faintly milky-sweet, linen-like musk. Once you get the smell of this fragrance in your nostrils, you'll never forget it. It does look like the pricetag has doubled since I first bought it new in 2008.

4 out of 7 people found this review helpful.     Was this review helpful to you? Yes   No

rated 2 of 5 *TOP REVIEWER* yoyocanary on 2/13/2013 7:42:00 AM more reviews by yoyocanary

Age: 19-24   Skin: Dry, Fair, Warm   Hair: Brunette, Wavy, Fine   Eyes: Blue    

When I smell this, I smell a wet dog. If I apply it to my skin, it morphs into wet dog smell plus something really nauseating.
I had a lot of people smell this, and they all agreed that it smelled a bit like wet dog.
That said, I would say I can pick up on the "sweat" scent and the metallic, "blood" scent, but that's all.
All of that said, I can also smell something really soft and floral in it, so I imagine this would be an amazing fragrance on some people, just not me.
Buy a sample or find a place to smell it before purchasing full size because it's very expensive, and it's such a unique fragrance.
And I would never, ever purchase this again.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.     Was this review helpful to you? Yes   No

rated 2 of 5 puddinhed on 2/6/2013 7:22:00 PM more reviews by puddinhed

Age: 36-43   Skin: Normal   Hair: Brown   Eyes: Brown    

Not what I expected at all. I wouldn't say it stinks, but it's something you don't want to smell either. Every sniff sent a flash of something evil, bad, and disturbing behind my eyes. It's an odd sensation. I would never wear this out, or even for longer than ten minutes. I might try it again out of morbid curiosity, though. Just like watching a horror film for entertainment.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.     Was this review helpful to you? Yes   No

rated 1 of 5 Luiza16 on 1/12/2013 5:00:00 PM more reviews by Luiza16

Age: 30-35   Skin: Other, Medium   Hair: Brunette   Eyes: Hazel    

Metallic smell that brings sense of uneasiness...
Not as bad as some say but you won't catch me wearing it on my next night out ;-)
1 lippy for originality

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.     Was this review helpful to you? Yes   No

rated 2 of 5 *TOP REVIEWER* cocorocha on 6/29/2012 8:42:00 AM more reviews by cocorocha

Age: 30-35   Skin: Combination, Fair, Warm   Hair: Blond, Straight, Fine   Eyes: Brown    

if you think that a perfume can't really re-create a materialistic emotional impression and make you affraid of what you've just experienced just by taking a whiff, try SM....
this is a real S/M perfume...smell...scent...stench....
I was so impressed when I got the chance to sniff it because I expected a ''normal kind of bad smell'' know- something familliar, almost disgustingly innocent, reeking of familliar smelly stuff- socks, dirty loundry, ammonia, sulphur, rotten eggs, sh*t,.....ya know...the 'easy stuff...
this is my dear people smell of despair, fear, agony, torture, rotten flesh,martyrs....very emotional scent of all the bad things you've ever experienced in your life...

I bow to the very fear that this one single whiff did to my inner emotional dimension, but as a perfume, as a scent that you like to wear, a scent that you'd be glad to let someone sense on you- this is a true death...void.....abyss....nothingness....

the weirdest thing I've ever smelled in my life...and god forbid if I ever smell it again!!

8 out of 8 people found this review helpful.     Was this review helpful to you? Yes   No

rated 5 of 5 *TOP REVIEWER* thespacecowgirl on 6/16/2012 9:20:00 AM more reviews by thespacecowgirl

Age: 25-29   Skin: Sensitive, Fair, Warm   Hair: Brunette, Straight, Fine   Eyes: Green    

Like many others, I was intrigued by the horrified first responses to this fragrance. Though I wanted to try it for that sort of entertainment value alone, I usually dislike the sharp astringency of so-called "marine" fragrances, so I was just as wary of that as I was the gag reflex triggering et. al. For me, however, this is a really nice scent with very bad PR. In the vial, it's a strong, salty/true oceanic, slightly metallic men's cologne scent. It's quite synthetic smelling yet seductive, in the manner of Gucci Rush (my all-time-favorite fragrance). The oceanic scent bears nothing in common with the nasty, sharp, fake "marine" fragrances flooding the market - it really smells like clean sea air. As the scent dries down, it loses the metallic note and becomes warmer and less masculine; for a while it seems to be truly a unisex scent. There are occasional hints of (clean) sterile gauze on superficial whiff, but inhaling the scent more deeply brings out the full warm ocean scent, which reminds me of swimming in the ocean and then letting my hair dry in the sun. The final drydown several hours later seems more masculine, though not unfitting for a woman comfortable with a little gender bending; it's only now that I can smell a faint hint of semen. To be crude, this is how I'd imagine smelling after having pornographic sex with a clean (and rich) man. I'm a very sexual person, so I adore it. I'm interested to try layering it with some other scents, so for that reason I really hope it smells as pleasant to other people as it does to me - my grandmother (usual scent BBW Moonlight Path) found it inoffensive, so I have hope. The fragrance stays very close to my skin, but the lasting power is pretty nuts - I can still smell it after most of 2 days! EDIT: I have fallen completely in love with this fragrance. It smells so warm and sexy and clean yet naughty on me at the same time. I think this could be my signature scent if I could afford a bottle.

6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.     Was this review helpful to you? Yes   No

rated 1 of 5 yum_yum on 5/9/2012 2:44:00 PM more reviews by yum_yum

Age: 36-43   Skin: Other   Hair: Other   Eyes: Other    

This is a horrible, sick joke by a demented, bastard-clown. It smells of fish, metal and something milky. Jesus wept. If I didn't love Clive Barker's Cenobites so much, I'd scent them with this. Seriously. Douse Pinhead with this sh*t. Ack, ack, ack. I have no sensible analysis of this because I gagged. I never gag. I have virtually no gag reflex. (Too much information). I've used everything from Fairy liquid to probiotic cleanser to get this stuff off my hand, but noooo. It lives! I might have to lose the wretched hand. I hate said hand now, any way. &who needs two hands if one of them smells like this. Pennywise in the gutter, yo. They aall float down here, Georgie! This is Pennywise's stash of child corpses. Stephen King: you need to smell this before you write your 2000-4000 words a day. You will *never* recover. You too, Joe Hill. No amount of your precious AC/DC will save you from this. (Clive might recover. He'd probably base a character on it).
This isn't perfume. It's made by a sicko in a dungeon basement. He collects hair-dolls from stolen hairbrushes and hoards thrown-out baby teeth. He has major parental issues and thinks having a bowel movement and masturbating should be simultaneous. He wears a necklace of ferret guts and has the personality of a human toilet. The over-spilling chemical kind. He steals bunnies, names them after Third World dictators or movie stars and then executes them with blunt cutlery. He stores hacked off noses in filthy demijohns. Hey, he figures it's a lifestyle.
The resilience of the blasted menace! Oh, it's pesky!! Like scenes depicting 'the stamina of evil' from traditional horror movies: You kill Michael Myers, turn your back, Myers gets up...and walks after you slowly, with that mask on (which some people claim is actually a Star Trek William Shatner mask, painted white-who knows if this is true). Dismember a zombie with a machete, turn your back, it falls apart but crawls after you on its festering stumps. Thwart the killer in Scream, turn your back, killer rises. You think you've killed the Alien, but it sneaks onto the ship & requires extermination. Again. That Japanese kid with the hair all over her face? Yeah, she's back, comin' atchu from the TV. You think you've disabled Annie Wilkes with a nifty head injury, yet she lurches after you. Take Damien all the way to the church and try and kill him with the special knives. But guess what? The little bugger's not going anywhere. You think a double-tap will suffice BUT jaded audiences expect it -so you go with the triple or quadruple tap. And you're STILL not sure it's dead. This is post Saw, post Roth, post anything I can think of. I'm not a religious person, but...if I prayed, Mary Mother of Christ : will it go away?!! Probably not.Why did you do this ELdO?
If you pay for this, you have too much money OR a really funny idea of what smells good -& I kind of respect that, but don't want to know you. This isn't skank. It's not semen. It's not breast milk (okay, I don't really remember what that smells like,but I'm going to ask my lactating friend if breast milk smells vile). It's certainly not vagina. Not mine any way. And like all the monsters, in every single horror. It. Won't.Budge. No. Ack. ACK. Katie Puckrick- I should have listened to youuu. I shouldn't have tried it. FISH & METAL & GROSS-OUT MILK STUFF FROM HELL!
Imagine you're David Koresh. SM's lasting power has the same effect as the FBI playing Nancy Sinatra on loop to drive you insane. Regardless of whether you deserved it, it's a tough ride.
I read interviews with Neil Young (and saw a documentary) where he said Charlie Manson was well known, in the music scene at the time, as a great guitarist. He said Charlie was good. But no one could play with him, or work with him, because he 'had an intense energy'. I think this is Neil's nice, Canadian way of saying, 'Yeah, Charlie was barking mad. He was howling mad. He was a whole bowl of UN-SANE." (Apparently he went totally mad after he couldn't get a record deal. Hey, that's what the interviews with his former 'peers' say, don't look at me for answers). This is like Charlie Manson. No matter how 'good' or 'innovative' the technique, people can't stick around long enough to appreciate it. Just as well, because if Secretions Magnifique turned out to be like Charlie...well...we know what happened.
Agent Orange. Ebola. Chemical warfare wielded by a peculiar weirdo (Trashcan Man, maybe? Although he had a nuke, right? And he looked *better* than this smells), Death by Fish and Effluent. Horrible, horrible thing. I have no more words. And yet cannot stop writing. It...hurts me.
I know fear. I know terror. You've won. I've lost. I'll do anything. ANYTHING! Let me go. I won't tell anyone. I haven't seen your face yet. It's not too late. I won't tell, I won't tell, I won't tell! You're a nice person, you don't want to do this. I know there's some good in you. You can end this. Please. I have a family. I'm young (ish). I can work for my freedom, work in your underground caves, as long as you DON'T DO THAT. I love you I love you I love you I take it all back because I looooove you! Nooo, I'm not lying so you won't hurt me. It's truuuuue. Pleeasepleeeasepleease! No, no, not the pointy stick and the pince-nez! Here, take all my clothes, my suitcase filled with my beloved Serge Lutens, my hair. Yes -- I'll even give you all my lovely hair -- you can make it into a wig or burn it or whatever. Drop me in an abandoned well somewhere and let me take my chances. Yes -- leave me with the deformed Appalachian hillbillies, it's better than this. I can grow to love their fun deformities. I'll even bear their cleft palate, club-footed babies. The sewer fluke in the X-Files -- sell me to him. I'll live there for eternity, in his watery embrace. No, nooo, don't DO that...not AGAIN....Gaaaaaaah!
*sound of dial tone*
*sound of heavy, wet breathing*

60 out of 75 people found this review helpful.     Was this review helpful to you? Yes   No

rated 1 of 5 *TOP REVIEWER* SNIFFMEALLOVER on 9/20/2011 5:19:00 AM more reviews by SNIFFMEALLOVER

Age: 25-29   Skin: Combination   Hair: Brown   Eyes: Blue    

Disgusting. Brings to mind the smell of blood and sweat. Why would anybody want to smell like this?? And pay real money for it??? Lasts forever. I could not wash it off my skin. Had to wash my clothes. I am getting rid of my sample. This is the only perfume ever that made me want to puke.
The only explanation I can see is that this is part of a marketing campaign "Let's create the most perverse and revolting fragrance that nobody in their right mind would wear and have every one talking about our brand". They probably had fits of laughter when they found out that Luca Turin actually gave them 5 stars.

7 out of 7 people found this review helpful.     Was this review helpful to you? Yes   No

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