Review of Batiste Dry Shampoo by melangerehab
Lo, in days long gone, the women did weep and pound their chests and pull out their dull and lifeless hair, abandoned by their Goddess of Shine and Body. Despite their frequent treks to the porcelain temples and their rigorous cleansing rituals the oiliness in their hair did persist and they were left with flat, untouchable locks. They cried to the Goddess, shouting to the heavens,
“O, why have you forsaken us, Goddess of Shine and Body? Have we not toiled for you? Have we not showered every other day; must we shower daily? Have we not been diligent in applying only the highest quality leave in conditioner, but not too much? We even read reviews online and bought Paul Mitchell’s Tea Tree shampoo for chrissakes, that shit was over twenty dollars, what the hell?"
And one day, a perfectly coiffed saint from a land far away approached the suffering women. With her she did carry the one and only dry shampoo worth purchasing, unlike that Tresemme bullshit which deserves to be cast into the fiery pit from whence it came. She embraced the women and held them to her bosom, and with a sweet voice she did tell them,
“My children, suffer you no longer, for I am Your Lady of Batiste, and with me I bring this aerosol can that will provide your hair with healthy volume and rid it of the oils that plague you. Go, use it now, lift thy hair and spray into thy roots, for thy hair is straight up nasty. But make sure to comb vigorously after you apply, since it does leave little white flakes that some may mistake for dandruff. With this, you have great power, but do not take up the false pride of the heathens and shower only once a week, you must stay committed to proper cleansing. Give your weary hearts rest, for your salvation is now available at participating Ulta locations.”